


Quadratini

by cutthroatpixie



Series: Six in One verse [12]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Kid Fic, Multi, OT4, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2017-12-03 18:12:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 15,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/701170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutthroatpixie/pseuds/cutthroatpixie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An assortment of drabbles and short stories set in the Six in One-verse. Various ratings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Background Noise

Marshall and Linda Collins-Shaw were a simple couple, with simple, traditional views on life. They'd spent most of their married life doing normal, married couple things back home in England, and now they had retired to sunny Spain for a change of pace and an easy, relaxing life, free from the hustle and bustle of working and raising children. They'd quickly settled into a routine, one that involved going to a recently opened, adorable little café run by a hard-working, if… boisterous, young couple.

A young couple that appeared to be having problems, even if nobody but the Collins-Shaws seemed to be noticing it.

"I don't like the way that employee of theirs is always flirting with her." Linda cast a glare in the employee's, Antonio or something like that, direction, turning her nose up when he met her eye and smiled. The nerve of some people. "Doesn't he know she's married?"

"Doesn't she?" her husband added, both turning to watch as Antonio kissed Lovina on the cheek and she did nothing about it, aside from tell him to hurry up and get her more coffee filters from the back.

And then slap his behind when he apparently didn't move fast enough for her liking.

"Disgusting."

"And in public, how obscene. Do they think they won't get caught?"

"Poor Romano."

When Lovina rolled her eyes in their direction, they felt that was definitely a confirmation of their suspicions.


	2. Bum Slaps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Background Noise.

Linda was by no means a nosy woman (in her own opinion), and she knew very well when to leave people be, thank you very much, but day in and day out, she watched as poor, dear Romano failed to notice his pregnant wife was clearly cheating on him (was the baby even his, Linda often wondered, the scandal of it all!). She'd had quite enough of it, too, and had decided to talk to the young man on a day when said wife wasn't at work. Those days were few and far between, especially during the times Linda and her husband frequented the café, but one such occasion finally presented itself, and she quickly made her way to the counter Romano was busy wiping down.

"Excuse me," she said, giving him a sympathetic look.

"Yeah? What is i—" a crash sounded from the store room and Romano scowled. "Hold on one second." Without another word, he quickly stormed off into the back.

"Stop fucking up my inventory and go make drinks for awhile." Antonio was the first to appear back through the door, following closely by Romano.

"But Roma," Antonio whined. Linda glared at him, for good measure, because how dare he appear and spoil her plans.

Romano further spoiled them when he slapped Antonio's bum, the same way she'd seen Lovina do so many times. "Just do what I say for once, goddamnit."

Well then.


	3. Equipoise

Francine had always had a love of people watching, especially of couple watching, because she loved to watch how people worked around one another, with one another, against one another. She watched for years as Antonia and Romano danced around one another, starting as just neighbours and becoming friends and then eventually much, much more than friends.

She watched the instant chemistry between Antonio and Antonia when she introduced them for the first time, watched the slump in Romano's shoulders whenever Antonia talked about him. Watched the blush on his face when Antonio talked to him, and the way Antonio's eyes always lingered on him a little too long. She saw all of Antonio's smiles, and how he lit right up when talking to Antonia, but also when talking to Romano, but most of all when he was with them both.

Francine hadn't been around much when they first met Lovina, but even a few short meetings were enough to see how well she fit with the other three. Nobody would have been able to tell she hadn't known this small group her entire life, save the glances exchanged between her and Antonio whenever some reference to Antonia and Romano's teenage years was made.

She'd heard all the whispers, of course, heard the angry conversations Lovina had on the phone, trying to explain that no, she wasn't just going to pick one of them and get married like a "normal girl", the questions from their school friends wondering when Antonia and Romano were going to stop this little faze they were in and just get married like everyone thought they should. But Francine knew, because of everything she saw, that while yes, they all hadn't known one another as long, and sometimes they all did things in pairs instead of all together, that there really was no way to cleanly split them up, because what Antonia had with Romano was just as important as what she had with Lovina and Antonio, what Antonio had with Romano and Lovina, what Lovina had with Romano.

Theirs was by no means a normal relationship, but taking any one of them out of it or trying to pair off for the sake of being socially acceptable would throw things off entirely. Francine saw that clear as day.


	4. Things Alejandro Knows

Alejandro Fernández Vargas Vella Hernández (trying saying that ten times fast) may have only been five years old, but he knew a lot of things about life. He knew how to clean out an espresso machine and how to bandage up those pesky wounds between fingers. He knew people didn't like to be told to wait their turn, but that waiting was just something everyone had to get used to eventually. He knew to never, ever listen to anything Aunty Francine said because she was "a crazy bitch, and don't you dare repeat what I just said." He knew many, many things, but most of all he knew that he was a very lucky little boy- because he had four parents, the very best parents, and other kids only had one or two, so when people asked him if it was weird or when teachers gave him funny looks, he knew it was just because they were jealous they didn't have so many people to tuck them in at night.


	5. April Fool's Day

The evening of March 31st finds Romano seated at the kitchen table of his brand new house, a bottle of celebratory limoncello and the house's other three owners sitting all around him.

The clock strikes midnight but Romano doesn't pay it any mind, because Lovina's poured him another shot and Antonia's laughing at him and telling him to slow it down, but fuck that, because they are homeowners now and if he wants to celebrate by drinking the whole bottle, _he fucking will_.

(only he fucking _won't_ , because Romano rather likes not being dead, thank you very much)

"Antonio," he slurs. In a manly fashion, because Romano only slurs like a very manly man, and not like a drunken teenager like Antonia does. "Why're you not?"

"Not?" Antonio asks, looking up from his glass.

"Not drinking," he responds. Maybe he forgot some words before, but Antonio should just understand him, goddamnit.

Antonio glances at Antonia, who glances at Lovina, who sighs and pats Romano on the arm. Romano flinches before he realises she hasn't actually hit him.

"There's something Antonio needs to tell you," she says, face suddenly deadly serious.

"You might want to sit down," Antonia adds, and Lovina gives her That Look because Romano is already sitting down, Antonia, he has been for awhile.

"Um. Okay." Suddenly Romano is very worried, or maybe he's just had too much to drink and he's wobbly, but everyone looks so serious when he can actually focus on their faces and maybe it's just that Antonio has work in the morning and they're all being overdramatic again. Because they all do that a lot, Romano is never the overdramatic one.

"I'm pregnant," _Antonio_ says, serious as a seizure, and Romano isn't given a proper chance to respond because all he gets out is, "Holy shit," before he's slumping out of his chair in a dead faint.


	6. Butchering Garlic

Antonio loves it when they all make dinner together, though it hasn't been happening much lately. Antonia's been working nights a lot more the past few weeks, something she whines about a lot because, "All the kids are asleep and I miss you guys!", Romano has taken to coming home from his job as a waiter, saying he's already eaten, and going straight to bed in a huff, and even though Lovina doesn't have any night classes, she's more likely to just want to order pizza and pair it with a bottle or two of wine after dealing with lectures all day. It is a Saturday, though, a blessedly rare Saturday where none of them have work or school or homework they can't put off until later, and Antonio has prepared for this glorious day by buying all the ingredients to make a lasagne, because Antonio loves it when they make lasagne together.

"Oi, stupid, you're butchering the garlic, not mincing it. Give it to me. No. Give it here, your garlic mincing privileges are being revoked."

"Antonio, you bought romano cheese again. I told you to get parmesan, seriously it's not a funny joke anymore. Yes I know it's like my name. I'm not stupid."

"Lovi, I think the mozzarella goes on the lasagne, not in your mouth!"

They don't work very well together all the time, not at all, and even if Antonio buys all the ingredients listed on Nonna Vargas' Top Secret Super Delicious Lasagne Recipe and follows those cooking channel instructions for cutting everything to a tee, Lovina will still complain that she likes the sauce with less onions and Antonia will insist it tastes better when they put more Italian sausage than ground beef and Romano will still let everyone know that sure, canned crushed tomatoes are okay if you don't care about how anything tastes and _Antonio stop eating all the romano in an obscene manner it's not funny anymore_.

Whether the sauce is too onion-y, the sausage to beef ratio is off, the tomatoes aren't as fresh as they could be, or there's a romano cheese shaped hole in the wall from where somebody decided to throw it, Antonio still thinks that when they work together, they make the best tasting food there is, because it's always made with lots and lots of love.


	7. First Impressions

Slits of dark blue stare up in Alejandro's general direction and he reaches out to touch the tufts of brown hair atop his little brother's head.

"Be gentle, Alejandro," Antonia says, adjusting the baby in her arms and leaning down just a tad so that Alejandro can see better. Alejandro nods, his chatter absent for once as he pats a soft red cheek. He jumps slightly when a teeny, tiny hand steals one of his fingers and Antonia laughs, the sound a little more quiet and tired than her normal giggles. "Is he up to your standards, then?"

"I don't think he had any requirements other than 'get me a sibling', Antonia," Romano says before Alejandro can respond (not that he was going to, he's too busy seeing if his little brother can grab at all his fingers and maybe his nose too).

A flash goes off and Lovina snatches Antonio's camera away before he can take another picture. "Stop taking pictures of me and Romano stupid, I thought you brought that to take pictures of Celio?"

"I did!" Antonio takes the camera back and the flashes are once again going off in quick succession. "But we need pictures of his parents being so happy to see him too!" He must realise that nobody's taken any pictures of him yet, because Antonio quickly turns the camera around and snaps a quick shot of himself, a broad grin on his face despite the fact that it's 6 am and they've all been up the whole night.

"Did you get a shot of Romano fainting?"

"I didn't faint. You fainted. You're crazy."

"Babbo just needed to lay on the floor for a minute," Alejandro pipes up for the first time that morning, climbing onto the bed and snuggling up against Antonia and Celio. "It was sleep time."

"Exactly," Romano responds, running a hand through Alejandro's hair when he starts yawning and rubbing at his eyes.

Another sudden flash blinds him and a shrill cry echoes through the room in time with his and Lovina's demands for Antonio to knock this shit off, as well as the soft snores coming from Antonia and Alejandro.


	8. Crescendo

Romano watched as Antonia laughed and swung Lovina across the floor of his dorm room. A quick beat pumped out of Antonio's stereo, perfect for the tango Antonia was attempting to teach the other woman. From the looks of it, she was a quicker study than Romano had been when he and Antonia had danced for the first time so many years ago. Where he'd been young and clumsy, stepping on Antonia's feet time and time again even though she was the one leading, Lovina followed Antonia's lead with only the slightest of hesitation— a hesitation that soon went away as the music took over until it, Antonia, and Lovina were all moving with one another. Lovina's skirt swayed and spun as she moved across the floor, the slightest hint of Antonia's thigh was revealed each time Lovina ran a foot agonisingly slow up her leg, and Romano was more than glad to remain quiet and spellbound for a rare moment. Even as Antonia dipped Lovina into a kiss, the spell remained unbroken.

Until Antonio chose that moment to pull Romano into a kiss as well, his wandering hands quickly finding their way up Romano's shirt. "We should dance too, Roma," he whispered, laughing.

"Who says I want to dance with you?" The pushed-together beds shook as Antonia pushed Lovina down next to the two men, the faintest of protests blending with Romano's own before they were silenced with another kiss. The music continued on as Antonia's hand disappeared beneath the fabric of Lovina's skirt, and Romano was still so transfixed at the way their bodies moved together.

Antonio, damned bastard that he was, ran a hand over the obvious bulge in Romano's jeans, an action that still managed to make Romano blush every time (and the, "Damned pervert," from Lovina when she'd looked his way really wasn't helping), and before Romano could protest further, Antonio's lips were around him, another pair of lips was on the back of his neck, and his cries of curses and nonsense and his beloved native tongue blended with the music, with Lovina's higher, more desperate cries, as the four of them continued to dance while the music reached the peak of its crescendo.


	9. Bed Monsters

Celio awoke one night to the squeak of a bed mattress and some very scary yelling-type noises coming from his mamá's room. His first thought was that the monsters had gone to the wrong room, because Alejandro always insisted that Babbo was right when he said the monsters all went to eat Papá but that they never succeeded because he tasted bad, but the monsters had really bad memories and always went back to him the next night. After more yelling noises, he became convinced that maybe Mamá did taste good and the monsters had realised that and hiding under his covers wasn't going to save her if that was the case!

He quietly made his way to Papá's room, because if the monsters wouldn't eat him he'd probably be able to make them leave everyone else alone. Just as he was about to reach his destination, another body collided with him and he let out a squeak of suprise as some sort of liquid spilled all over him.

The other body was far louder than him and for a second he thought he was a total goner and that it was one of the monsters, one of the monsters who was covered in blood oh god did they get Mamá after all, but then the "monster" laughed and unless monsters were really good at imitating Alejandro… _what if they were really good at imitating Alejandro_.

"Celio?"

Celio screamed and all the scary noises in the house suddenly stopped.

A light flicked on and he saw that, oh, it was just Alejandro, and there was Mamá, safe and sound and wearing only a sheet?

He quickly ran over and hugged her legs, relief washing over him. "What's wrong, Celio?"

"Was that him that screamed?" Babbo was only wearing a sheet too. Maybe that was how they kept the monsters away. "I didn't know he could make noises that loud— is that juice all over my new carpet?"

"Because that's the problem here." Mamma wasn't wearing a sheet, she was wearing one of Babbo's pink shirts, but Celio was pretty sure the monsters wouldn't bother her because Mamma could be way scarier than any monster ever. "Alejandro, what did you do to your brother?"

"It was the monster's faul—-"

"I didn't do anything!" Alejandro picked up his glass off the floor and pouted. "I didn't see him, it was dark and he's really sneaky!"

"Mamá, I heard the—"

He was cut off as he was pulled into a crushing hug and away from Mamá's legs. "I'm sorry Celio!"

"It's oka—"

More crushing hugs. "I'll clean up the juice and wash your pajamas, okay?"

"Okay, but—"

"Are you okay, I'm really—"

"Alejandro. Shoosh. Celio, come on, we'll get you changed. Alejandro, go put the glass away. Romano, clean the carpet." Mamma picked Celio up and he glanced behind them as she walked away, just to make sure Mamá was still there and monster-free.

"Why do I have to clean it up? You clean it up!"

Celio had no idea what she meant by, "Because you're the one who woke him up, Mr Show Off," but that was okay, because for now, the house appeared to be clear of monsters.


	10. "First" Date

Romano's never dated a woman like Lovina before. Growing up, the girls back home in Italy either found him and his foul mood hilarious or annoying, and though Lovina does roll her eyes at him, and is often times just as grumpy as he is, she doesn't even blink when he mumbles a curse at her. He doesn't like the way she blows him off when he's frustrated with her, but he doesn't like the way certain other people pinch his cheeks and call him adorable for the same actions either, so he sometimes just has to accept that he's doomed to never be taken seriously.

Some girls find him charming, oddly enough, because he can be when he tries, he can charm the pants off anyone he wants to (he's just too lazy to do it all the time), but Lovina doesn't seem to. She stands back so he can open the door for her sometimes, but if she ever reaches for the door herself and he reaches too, she slaps his hand away and tells him to knock that shit off. When he pulls out a chair on their first solo outing together, she takes the other one, raising an eyebrow when he doesn't sit down right away.

"What's with you tonight?" she asks, unrolling both their napkins, because she always insists Romano does it wrong.

"Nothing," he mumbles. Other than that he was under strict orders not to start any arguments tonight. "You look nice."

"Damn right I do," Lovina responds, tossing a stray curl over her shoulder. "Antonia nearly burnt the back of my neck, I better look fucking amazing."

Romano nods, feeling a little awkward, wishing just a bit that Antonio and Antonia hadn't decided Romano taking Lovina out alone was a good idea, a good way for them all to patch up some school, work, and family-induced stress that had been coming out in harsh words and nights spent sleeping alone for all of them. Not because Romano doesn't like Lovina, but because Romano really hasn't spent much time with her without Antonio and/or Antonia being there as well.

Their waitress comes over and asks what they would like to drink, and Romano quickly responds, "We'll have a bottle of the Aglianico and some mineral water."

The waitress nods, quickly writing down the order, but before she can go, Lovina is tugging her sleeve and glaring at Romano. "And I'll have a bottle of Nero d'Avola. The mineral water is fine though."

"You don't need a whole bottle to yourself, what the hell."

"You said tonight was your treat and you ordered a bottle I don't want," Lovina counters, waving off the now laughing waitress.

"I made sure to get something you like." Romano tries not to sound irritated, even though he is, though not quite as much as he would be if he hadn't "accidentally" taken Antonio's credit card instead of his own.

"Well I don't want it."

They're silent for a few minutes, until the waitress comes back with two bottles of wine and a bottle of mineral water and they give her their food order as well. Lovina pours them both a glass of her wine of choice and Romano grumbles at her, though he accepts the glass nonetheless. "You're being a freak tonight, you clearly need more than half a bottle."

"I'm not being a freak." Lovina just gives him a look. "I'm trying to take you out on a proper date here, damnit. Just go along with it."

Lovina laughs and Romano stares at her and then Lovina laughs some more. "How about we drink all this wine and you stop having a stick up your ass, then we'll get dessert and charge it all to Antonio's card." She looks thoughtful for a moment. "Then I think we'll need more wine, Antonia's at Francine's tonight."

Romano stares for a second more before he too starts laughing. "You're insane. If you get drunk and do stupid shit, I'm not stopping you."

"Didn't expect you to."


	11. Sloppy Makeouts

They're at the bar they normally go to on Friday nights, all four of them seated in a booth they'd shoved past crowds of people to claim. Some nights they have to sit at the bar, or stand (and then attempt to stand as the night wore on and their drinks grew in number), but tonight Romano, Antonia, Lovina, and Antonio are snuggly seated in one corner of the bar, drinks slowly gathering around their table.

Antonia leans over next to Lovina and licks a stray drop of wine from the side of her mouth, giggling when Lovina shoves her away and then drunkenly leans in for a kiss. More wine drips from between their connected lips and then Antonio is leaning over the table, his arms knocking glasses over as he too tries to help Lovina, and now Antonia as well, clean the liquid from her face.

"Mph." Lovina mumbles something unintelligible, her mind too occupied wine, and with Antonia's tongue against her lips, Antonio's lips against her cheek, and… Romano's hand up her skirt… to actually form anything resembling words.

Somehow, while Lovina is not exactly paying attention, Romano winds up in her lap, Antonio winds up on the table, and a few glasses wind up all over Antonia, but nobody seems to care. Antonia is kissing her, and then she is kissing Romano, and then he's kissing Antonio, and everything is warm and a little hazy and then Lovina's got three tongues in her mouth (one her own… hopefully anyway) and another on her neck and somewhere in the background their server is asking them to please stop knocking glasses off the table and for Antonio to please put his shirt back on, but again, nobody really cares.


	12. Parent Teacher Conference

"I'm sorry," Antonio blurts out the minute they enter Alejandro's teacher's classroom. Flor Mendoza Suarez is a good friend of his, a fellow teacher and a former classmate, but she's not called this meeting to catch up or go over teaching materials together.

Lovina smacks his shoulder. "She hasn't even said he's done anything wrong, don't apologise."

Flor laughs and motions to the four chairs she's placed in front of her desk. "We're meeting with all the kids' parents, remember?"

"See, stupid, I told you he wasn't in trouble. Shouldn't you know that? You work here." Romano is the first to sit down, followed by Lovina and Antonio, Antonia lagging behind, as she's a little distracted looking at all the childish art up on the classroom walls.

Antonio's foot taps nervously against the floor and unfortunately for him he's right in between Romano and Lovina, who appear to be taking turns stepping on his toes to cease all the unnecessary movement.

"He's really not in trouble," Flor insists. She pulls out a little portfolio, filled to the brim with drawings. "Alejandro's a very sweet boy, and we already discussed the little goat incident, I'm just giving you a check up on how he's doing."

"Looks like he's killing a lot of trees," Romano says, taking the huge stack of drawings when he's offered it. A picture of himself, Alejandro, and what looks like a clothing rack is on top and he raises an eyebrow.

"Alejandro says you're very fashionable," Flor explains.

"Damn right I am."

"Are there ones of me too? There are!" Antonio takes half the stack and soon Lovina and Antonia are looking too, barely paying attention to anything else until Flor clears her throat.

"He talks about you all a lot, he's a very happy little boy," she says. "And he gets along well with all the other children—"

"Goat incident aside," Lovina says, glaring at Romano.

"Goat incident aside," Flor agrees. "We've been practicing with them writing their names too," she adds, pointing out one of the pictures that has ALEJANDRO scribbled across the top sloppily.

She goes on for a few more moments, about childhood development and what they're going over in class, all things they already know because Antonio's been teaching the same things, at this exact school, for years, but they're more than willing to listen to any praise their four-year-old son gets.

"You can take the pictures." Flor stands up, holding a hand out to shake each of theirs. "And I'll let you know if he ever actually is in trouble." She winks at Antonio, who was no longer worried about that but is again, now that mentions it. "But there's no big problems with him, I promise."

Lovina stacks the pictures all up neatly and puts them back in the portfolio. "Hear that, Antonio? Romano didn't fuck him up, good job."

"It was a team effort." Antonia grins and pinches Romano's cheek. "Don't worry, we believed in you."

"Yeah yeah." Romano grabs the elbows nearest to him, Antonio and Lovina's, and Lovina grabs Antonia's because she's once again getting distracted when she finds Alejandro's self portrait up near the chalkboard, and they all walk out together, very much glad they've survived their first official parent teacher conference.


	13. The Goat Incident

There are many things Antonio loves about having Alejandro go to the same school that he works at. They get to go in together in the mornings, leave together in the afternoon. Alejandro usually eats lunch with him, and when their two classrooms do activities together, Alejandro is always more than willing to hang out with his papá.

"Papá!" Alejandro runs into his room right in the middle of snack time, eyes wide and red-rimmed, followed by the new school principal, Antonio's boss.

He also loves the fact that, should there be a problem, he's right there to deal with it and nobody needs to call anybody else at work.

Antonio quickly picks Alejandro up and follows the very irritated principal out, thankful he's got an assistant already in the room to watch his class. "What happened, Alejandro?"

"Your son has a very dirty mouth," the principal says. She stares up at Antonio over her glasses, and though he's looking down at her, he can definitely see why Alejandro is probably very frightened of her.

Antonio laughs nervously. He's already anticipating the argument Romano and Lovina are going to have over this. "Does he now? He's three, if he said anything bad he probably doesn't know it means."

"He told another child to," the principal stops and looks around, dropping her voice to a whisper. "Fuck a goat. When he took a book from him."

Romano's fault, then. "He doesn't know what he's saying, I'll talk to him later. No need to upset the small children, ma'am."

She ignores him, continuing to glare up at both him and Alejandro. "And then when I took the other books from him and told him we were going to talk to his parents about this, he told me to as well."

"Mean," Alejandro whines, pointing at the woman and snuggling into Antonio's neck.

"You need to learn some manners, young man," she snaps back, and Antonio can already tell he's not going to enjoy having her as a boss.

"He's three," Antonio says again, sounding exasperated. "If you can't handle children acting like children, then you shouldn't be working at a preschool."

"Children should not say—"

"He shouldn't, no, but yelling at him about it isn't going to do any good."

Antonio walks to Alejandro's classroom, balancing the boy on his hip, and deposits him back in his favourite little red chair, ignoring any calls for him to come back that are trailing behind them.


	14. Treats

Celio didn't know why Alejandro liked sitting around in the café all the time, really didn't understand it in the slightest. Sure, it was fun hiding out with Babbo, and Mamá snuck them treats and then Papá snuck them more treats, and Mamma always said, "Shush, I'm busy, have a cookie and go play," and the cookies were the best ever, but Celio could do all that at home. At home away from weird ladies who pinched his cheeks without asking, who just giggled when he tried to hide behind Alejandro and asked if his father was as cute as he was.

"Make them stop?"

Alejandro grinned at him and opened his mouth, getting out a stern, "Go f–" before Mamma was running over to clamp a hand over his mouth and demand they both go bother their babbo instead.


	15. Restless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alejandro is almost 6, Celio is not yet born, and Romano is eternally 29 now stop asking him such personal questions.

Lovina is just about to finally settle down to sleep, her breath evening out and her vision blurring with hazy slumber, when the tell-tale creak of her bedroom door opening echoes through the room and she is suddenly very much awake.

"I'm sleeping," she mumbles, throwing her pillow over her face in hopes of making whoever it was either go away or keep quiet.

No such luck. "I know." Antonia makes her way over to Lovina's bed and Lovina peeks through the pillow to see her carefully lower herself down next to Lovina. "The baby won't stop moving around, I think he missed you."

"Or maybe he's just being a jerk." Lovina gives Antonia's belly a half-hearted pat and mumbles, "Go to sleep, you little beast."

Antonia laughs and steals Lovina's hand, lacing their fingers together and holding tight when Lovina tries to pull away. "That's so mean. Mamma doesn't mean it, baby."

"Yes she does," Lovina replies with a yawn. "Are you sure he didn't miss Romano or Antonio? They don't need to sleep."

"Nope," Antonia murmurs back. She shifts around on her side until her round belly is flush against Lovina's own. "Missed you."

"You're ridiculous."

"You knew I was ridiculous when you decided to date me."

Lovina rolls her eyes and Antonia giggles again. "Shut the fuck up and go to sleep, both of you."

It takes a few minutes, but Antonia does as she's told, and judging by the fact that Lovina can't feel any stray kicks coming from under Antonia's nightgrown any longer, it looks like the baby has too.

Once again, sleep calls to Lovina, and with some minor repositioning of their blankets she once again finds herself comfortable enough to heed the call.

"Oi, Lovina! Your kid wet the bed again, get out here!"

"Motherfucker."


	16. Companion

Alejandro's first steps were taken toward Romano (and away from the bath Antonia was attempting to give him). As those little legs got better and better at walking unaided, Romano found himself with a miniature shadow trailing behind him at all times. When Alejandro didn't spend the night hogging all Romano's covers, he was right there by his bed the next morning, patting at his face and babbling nonsense that was meant to call him for breakfast. If Alejandro came to the café with them, Romano was constantly having to watch his feet or else he'd find himself tripping over the toddler trailing behind him.

"Babbo." Romano was in the kitchen at home, making some food for just the kid and himself because Antonia was at work and it was Antonio's turn to accompany Lovina to some baptism or wedding or funeral or whatever it was her relatives were always doing with themselves. He looked down when Alejandro tugged on his pants to find he had somehow managed to get into Romano's clothing and was currently draped in a pink pin-striped dress shirt.

"Are you playing dress up, Alessà?"

"No." Alejandro lifted his arms up, the arms of the shirt slipping down to reveal his previously hidden hands. "Up."

"Demanding little shit, aren't you."

Alejandro pouted and whined out another, "No," and Romano finally gave in and picked him up.

Romano continued making dinner with Alejandro rested happily against his side. "You can't leave me alone for a second, can you?"

"No."

"Good, kid."


	17. Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is set like crazy before Six in One. Antonia is 13, Romano is 12.

"Who're you waving at, Toñi?"

"New neighbours, Mamá." Antonia gestured out the window to where the man was now opening the passenger door for a younger woman (his wife, daughter?) holding a sleeping child in her lap.

Inés looked out the window as well before heading to the front door. "I'll go say hi, why don't you make them something to eat? I'm sure they won't want to worry about dinner while they're trying to unpack."

Antonia nodded and did as she was told, peeking out through the window every so often as her chicken and rice cooked. Her mother was still at the house when Antonia finished, no doubt helping the family to unpack or watching their son (she thought she'd seen another boy, but he'd rushed into the house too quickly for her to be sure).

She grabbed her dish, along with an unopened container of juice sitting in the fridge, and went over to their new neighbours' house.

"What— is that food?"

Antonia blinked when the door opened to reveal the other boy she had in fact seen running into the house earlier. He was older than the other boy, maybe 11 or 12, closer to her age. His hair was a darker brown, more like man's than the woman's and his brother's, though the scowl on his face was absolutely all his own.

"Oh, yeah! My mamá told me I should bring it over, I think she's still here."

The boy scrunched his face up for a moment before responding, slowly and purposefully, and that's when Antonia noticed she couldn't recognise his accent and Spanish was no doubt not his native language. "She's in the uh. Upstairs, with my mamma."

Antonia nodded and stepped inside (Mamá would tell her off for not waiting to be invited in first, but the boy seemed more interested in the food than her lack of manners). "Do you like chicken and rice?"

He peaked at the dish in her hands. "Maybe." Antonia went in the direction she hoped the kitchen was and once the room was located, she set the dish and juice on the counter.

"I'm Antonia, by the way."

"Romano," the boy mumbled. He dug through a box and pulled out a few forks, but no plates. Antonia tried to help find the plates, all the while listening to the boy mumble to himself in Italian (she was pretty sure it was Italian), but their search turned up nothing but utensils and cups.

That didn't seem to bother Romano, who just dug right into the chicken and rice after making Antonia pour him some juice.


	18. Formal

A green tie was looped over the top of the hotel room's ceiling fan, blowing with the slow rotation and making light slapping noises whenever the end ran into one of the blades or the ceiling. Beneath the fan and just a bit to the left, a wrinkled black vest was poking out from under a desk, where a single black pump was resting atop a pad of paper featuring the hotel's letterhead. The shoe's twin was nowhere to be seen on first look. It wasn't by the bathroom door near a pair of boxers, nor was it in the closet with the other shoes, but a suspiciously shoe-shaped lump could be glimpsed through the ripped remains of a silk button-down shirt lying near the door.

A suit jacket was haphazardly thrown over the back of a chair, its grey overlayed with the red of a transparent shawl. The trousers were gone— possibly out the open window, but definitely not anywhere in the room. An emerald dress was crumpled up against the (now empty) mini-bar and a lacy bra had made its home over the top of a lamp.

The only place clothes were not scattered, really, was the bed.

"…Are you seriously smoking right now."

"Shove off, Lovina."


	19. Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio and Antonia are graduating.

"I'm going to be so sad when we're not roommates anymore."

"You keep saying that, yes."

"It's just I won't be able to wake up to your cute face all the time! Unless you spend the night. You'll spend the night right?"

"Antonia."

"And we won't be able to go on adventures to visit Romano and Antonio and they won't be roommates anymore either!"

"…Are you crying on me. Antonia, knock it off."

"I'm going to miss these beds. We have good memories in these beds."

"These aren't even our original beds."

"I know, we broke the other ones! We had good memories in those beds too. I'm going to miss this so much."

"I seriously don't know why you are so upset."

"Because this is the end of an era! Everything is going to change!"

"I'm cutting you off."

"Loviiiii, no. Don't you understand?"

"No, I don't."

"But Lovina, we won—"

"We're all moving into the same fucking apartment, you crazy bitch."

"…Oh yeah."


	20. Silver

Francine can tell that it's been awhile since any of her friends have consumed an alcoholic beverage other than their usual wine because after they've each had a few bottles of Alfred's silly Bacardi Silver mojito, Lovina is flushed a bright red, Romano has lost his shirt, Antonia is rolling around on the floor, and Antonio has taken Alfred's advice and started serenading them all with a heartfelt semi-Spanglish rendition of The Lion Sleeps Tonight on Alfred's mini-karaoke machine.

"Those are nowhere near the right words," Romano shouts over top of all of them.

"As if you would know. Antonio shut up, you're off key."

"Aw, I think it sounds really cute!" Antonia grabs a blanket and drapes it over Romano's shoulders. "Roma your nipples have informed me you're cold."

"Wha— I— no, those traitors."

Antonia, Lovina, and Francine all laugh (the former two far more than the latter), but Alfred just looks confused, because even though he's currently in Spain and he does speak Spanish, he's not used to these accents and the random Italian thrown in and how very, very quickly (and drunkenly) everyone is speaking.

"Romano's nipples are traitors," Francine says slowly, pointing toward her own chest, knowing Alfred should pick up the meaning just fine from somebody who isn't slurring their words into the carpet.

He does and it's a good thing Antonia and Lovina are so far gone, because he's not technically the last to laugh if everyone else is still giggling. "Your friends are hilarious. I'm glad I came here instead of that weird party Arthur wanted to go to!"

"It's a good thing you came to dinner with us too. Who thinks it's a good idea to come to Madrid and eat at McDonalds?" Francine nudges Alfred's shoulder out of the way when Lovina flicks a bottle cap at him. "See, it's such a touchy subject for everyone. Stick with us, we'll show you around properly."

"We will!" Antonio agrees once he's done butchering Disney songs. He nudges his way between Antonia and Lovina, who is now also laying on the floor.

"I don't see what's wrong with McDonald's!" Alfred protests, though he's laughing just as much as everyone else. "It's a great restaurant."

"That place cannot even be called a restaurant," Francine insists. "Seriously, just be glad we found you and not some other group of less cultured people."

When Alfred opens up another six-pack of the pre-mixed drinks immediately after Francine's statement and everyone readily takes the offered bottles, nobody bothers to comment about their "culture" or lack thereof.


	21. Prepared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally time for Alejandro to make his big appearance.

"Do we have Lovina's bag?"

"Yes. It's right here. Where it was when you asked five seconds ago."

"Just checking! Keys?"

"In the ignition. You just put them there."

"What about snacks, Roma? Do we have snacks, do we even need snacks, what do you bring to this sort of thing?!"

"There's snacks at the hospital, Toni!"

"We don't fucking need snacks, you two."

"But we have some, right?"

"…Yes, goddamnit, we have snacks."

"And clothes for the baby? And diapers?"

"Yes and yes and we have some of those stupid stuffed animals Nonno sent too, all our phones are in our pockets, Antonio you have your video camera, Antonia you have your camera, and we called the doctor and let Francine know to open the shop in the morning. We're fucking ready, let's go."

"But Roma—"

"Go."

"Romano where's Lovina? You were supposed to help her out here."

"…Shit."


	22. Knowledge

"Mamma?"

Lovina looked up from the kitchen table, where she was trying to organise some café-related paperwork Romano had tossed in her direction earlier. Celio was standing in the doorway, his brow furrowed in confusion and she hoped this wasn't like the time he and Alejandro had found Antonio's little picture collection in his closet. "Something wrong?"

Celio sat down across from her, careful of the papers, pens, coffee cups, and… candies (Lovina didn't even need to guess who had shoved that into the pile) taking up the table. "Are you guys really married?"

She'd not been expecting that one at all. She probably should have, because even though Alejandro never questioned things, always told his friends growing up that some people had one parent, some had two, some had a mom, a dad, and a step-mom like his Papá, and some people had four parents just like him (though maybe not just like his), Celio had always been a bit more aware of the stares and the whispers.

Or maybe he just cared more. Lovina hated to think that at ten years old he had to care about all the stupid shit they'd had to deal with for years, but she supposed that was how things were. Antonio probably would have laughed nervously and told him to go ask her (no doubt if Celio had gone to him first, that's exactly what happened), Antonia would have said yes without hesitation, and Romano would have said, "Not exactly," before going off to rant about stupid people telling his kids stupid shit, and then they'd probably end up having another "wedding" just to show all those jerks and appease Romano (and get a new couch, they really needed a new couch, the damn cat scratched the fuck out of their current one).

But Lovina was not Antonio, Antonia, or Romano (thank god for that), and she knew that Celio was going to get a proper answer somewhere, so she'd rather that somewhere be from her. "Not legally."

"Because only two people can."

"Exactly. But I maxed out my credit card buying your stupid babbo that really girly ring he wanted, so everyone else can suck it. Your mamá already tells everyone she's Alejandro's father, we do what we want."

Celio nodded, slowly, and the confused look quickly left his face, so Lovina knew that answer was enough for now.


	23. Look

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovina has a lot of fucking family get togethers.

Romano hates it when it's his turn to go to one of Lovina's stupid family events. She has more than Antonio, Antonia, and him combined and she always complains about them more than even Romano can, so he has no idea why she always insists they go. He does have an idea, actually, an idea that it probably has something to do with the same reasons Romano always makes sure Nonno, Veneziano, and his mamma get at least one holiday a year with him, but at least he gets presents out of that. Lovina just gets annoying cousins, drunken, gossip-whore aunts, and stupid gran— Romano takes that back, Lovina's grandmother is the best part of her family get-togethers.

He sips at a glass of wine, free wine because all of Lovina's family events have an open bar. Romano would say it was because most of them were insane drunks, but he isn't going to complain (too much) while he's getting free food and drinks. His phone buzzes and he glances at it to see it's yet another text from Antonia— apparently Celio said a whole sentence, with real words! together! back to back! and Alejandro sold all the pastries at the café and wasn't Romano so proud?!

He is so proud, because he knew if he'd left the café to Antonio and Antonia for the weekend it would have gone to shit, so he's glad to know he definitely made the right decision by putting Alejandro in charge.

He is also so bored. Lovina ran off somewhere with her sister an hour ago and Romano hasn't been able to find her ever since. If he couldn't see her from the comfort of his chair, she was obviously lost somewhere he'd have no hopes of finding her at and she'd just have to find him lat— there she is. Romano looks up just in time to see Lovina walking toward him, her eyebrow raised and her lips turned up slightly to form a look that tells Romano they are definitely getting the hell out of here soon.

He gives her back a look that says he is going to finish his fucking wine first, you dragged me here you can wait until I'm damn good and ready to leave.

Lovina apparently thinks it means she can finish off the last of his glass and then drag him by his tie (his expensive silk tie that does not need to be manhandled by girlfriends with claws for nails) out of the hall her familyreunionweddingwhatever is being held in and upstairs to their (free, because Lovina's grandmother loves them) hotel room. Romano is okay with her misreading his look just this once.


	24. Tremble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their "first time" is all about Lovina.

A warm, sweet mouth is on hers, teeth nipping lightly at her bottom lip as a nose nudges against her cheek and a laugh escapes the lips that soon reattach themselves to hers. Another mouth, not as sweet, not at all, is down by her clavicle, slowly kissing and nipping and licking a trail down across her breasts. She almost thinks she hears a prayer before that mouth is temporarily silenced as it closes around a nipple, sending soft jolts of pleasure down through her belly, all the way to the tips of her toes and back up again to where a third mouth is caressing her trembling thighs. Red nails scrape lightly against her belly before delving, far more gently, lower and lower until she's crying out into the mouth above hers and gripping at somebody's hair (the cursing and temporary ceasefire on the worship of her breasts lets her know whose). Her legs wrap around sweaty flesh, maybe more legs, maybe arms, probably not the same pair of legs or arms either way, and she could scream, she really could, but the walls are thin and she can feel a smirk pressing into her neck and

and then she does scream, not out of pleasure, but out of shock and pain and three other mouths echo her groans for very different reasons than they had been before.

The first thing she says when she regains her breath and gets out from under the crushing weight of three naked bodies is, "I told you this fucking bed couldn't handle us all."


	25. Transformation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gisella is a burgeoning artist and Romano's face is her canvas.

"Babbo, hold still!"

"I am."

"Not still 'nough."

Romano would have sighed, but sighing wasn't holding still, and Gisella was making the very best Stern Face a four-year-old could make, so he tried his damndest to hold still enough for the girl who was currently painting his face with God knows what.

"Babbo likes green?"

Romano waited until nothing was touching his face before nodding. "Mhmm, I like green."

"And pink?"

"Yes."

She nodded and went back to her work, diligently applying eyeshadow and blush and lipstick for a good fifteen minutes (a good six pokes in the eye with the mascara wand), her lip sucked in between her teeth in deep concentration.

When she finally finished, she took a moment to survey her work. "What's Javier think?" Gisella looked down at the cat, who just stared back, like he always did, but apparently it was the right kind of stare because her face broke out into a wide smile and she grabbed Romano's hands, tugging at them until he got up off the floor. "So pretty," she said, gazing up at Romano adoringly. "Look, look!"

Once Romano was fully standing and in front of the bathroom mirror, he did look. His right eye was covered from brow to lash in bright green eyeshadow, his left eye with glittery pink. Blush was smudged into his cheeks, his nose, and part of his chin. The lipstick spattered all around his mouth was definitely Antonia's, because only she could pull off that shade of red, and he knew for a fact that it was a bitch to get off. Only one eye was adorned with mascara; the other had a couple drips of it blending into the blush below. One of Lovina's headbands and two of Gisella's butterfly clips completed the look, along with a smattering of sticky hairspray.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes," Romano said, not even hesitating. "But let's go do your papá too, or else he might get jealous."


	26. Mad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovina had never seen Antonio and Antonia argue.

Lovina could hear loud, angry voices as she made her way down the hall toward her dorm room. She shrugged it off, thinking it was just the girls three doors down having an argument about who stole whose favourite blouse again, but as she got closer she noticed one of the voices was definitely male, and then she noticed that the voices were not coming from three doors down, but from her own dorm room, and they sounded very much like what Antonio and Antonia would sound like if they were shouting at one another.

She hesitated before opening the door, because she'd never heard the two have anything more than faux arguments over whose turn it was to babysit Romano or who loved the other more (and then who was meanest when Antonia told Antonio he won). She'd heard Romano and Antonio argue, she'd yelled at Antonio and Antonia (sometimes both at the same time), and she and Romano were always bickering about something, but for the most part Antonio and Antonia got along in the best, most obnoxious way possible.

When she pushed the door open, very slowly, she was met with the sight of Antonio and Antonia wrestling on the couch in front of the television, which was apparently playing a Valencia vs. Barcelona match.

"Oh dear lord," Lovina mumbled as the two idiots continued to shout angrily.

"That's a foul! Antonio no, it was, you just weren't paying attention!"

"It was not, you're just mad we're winni— ow, Antonia, don't twist my arm so hard!"

"Oh sorry, is that better?" If Antonia hadn't twisted it harder Lovina would have thought she was the worst at arguing ever. "You're only winning because they cheated!"

"Did not!"

"Did too! I'm not letting go until you admit it!"

"Then I guess you're never letting go!"

Lovina slowly backed away after setting her schoolbag down by the door, somehow completely unnoticed by the two morons rolling around all over the couch (and then onto the floor just as she was about to leave).

"Everyone is fucking crazy," she mumbled, quickly making her way out of the building. She headed straight to Romano's dorm, though, so she probably was too.


	27. Thousand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovina's mom had a lot of ideas about what she supposedly knew.

Bianca Vargas liked to think she knew her daughters better than anyone else. Felicia was a born people pleaser— as soon as she'd mastered the art of smiling as a baby, she always offered one up in return when one was thrown her way and she readily responded to positive reenforcement and praise. Lovina not so much. She screamed just to scream, only smiled when she'd already gotten her way and not a moment sooner, if at all, and while a, "Good job, Feli," was often good enough, Lovina had always preferred tangible rewards. Even when she didn't actually deserve them.

Felicia wasn't the perfect teenager, but Bianca thought her occassional sneaking out and ringing up their phone bills was far better than all the things she swore Lovina did just because she knew nobody wanted her to do them. The first time she'd caught Lovina in bed with a boy it had been on a night Lovina knew she'd be home— it was a surprise for Bianca, but she didn't think it was for Lovina. The first time she'd caught Lovina in bed with a girlher door was unlocked, though Bianca knew Lovina always, whether her mother liked it or not, locked her door.

So when she heard the news from Felicia about Lovina's…odd… relationship, Bianca had only been surprised that Lovina wasn't the one to flaunt it in her face. She protested— oh how she protested— though she knew that was what Lovina wanted, for some odd reason, but she couldn't tell her she accepted it because she'd tried the whole reverse psychology thing and all that got her was a, "But Mamma, you told me to have a party while you two were out of town."

Protesting just egged Lovina on, false acceptance did the same thing, so when Lovina didn't tire herself out and find some other way to annoy her mother after a few years, Bianca found herself trying the one thing she knew was utterly foolproof. A new car had gotten Lovina to at least stop bringing people around to their house while other people were home and the promise of a hotel suite and all her airfare, food, etc. paid for always got her to go to family reunions, so Bianca knew, just knew, that she could get Lovina to stop messing around and settle down into a proper relationship for the right price.

"So I was thinking," she said over the phone one night, carefully considering how she wanted to make her offer.

"Were you now." Lovina sounded suspicious, but she usually did when she was talking to her mother.

"I know you and Romano have been trying to come up with funds for that little restaurant—"

"Café."

"Café of yours," Bianca continued. "And I think your father and I would be able to come up with something for you. As a wedding present."

"The four of us weren't planning a wedding at the moment."

"But the two of you could be."

Lovina snorted. "Well yeah Romano and I would probably do most of the planning, Antonio and Antonia are usually just good for food tastings."

"Lovina." Bianca knew Lovina understood what she meant.

"Mamma."

"We can throw you _two_ a nice wedding, and help you with your shop. Just say the word."

"How about you fuck off instead, the _four of us_ would rather have no café than take your stupid money."

The line went dead and Bianca realised maybe she didn't know quite as much as she thought she did.


	28. Outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonia loved taking her kids to the park.

Antonia loved nothing more than coming home after a long night-and-then-morning at work to take her kids to the park. Sure, she hadn't slept, but she had promised Alejandro she'd take them all out while everyone else went to work at the café and when she'd finally been able to get home, she was met with the sight of her two boys and baby Gisella all dressed up and waiting for her (or in Gisella's case, sleeping in Alejandro's lap).

Antonio had left to join Romano and Lovina shortly after that and the kids were just too excited for her to say no, which she probably wouldn't have said regardless. She loved watching Alejandro try to teach Celio how to climb the monkey bars, loved sitting there with Gisella and showing her all the flowers that were growing around them.

"I don't think I've seen you before, are you their nanny?"

She didn't so much love being interrupted while she was making Gisella laugh by imitating the birds flying around overhead, but these sort of things happened.

She turned to the man who had walked over and offered him a grin before shaking her head. "No, I'm their mamá."

"Mamá," Gisella parroted back, her tiny hands coming up to tug lightly at Antonia's hair.

The man looked confused, but he sat down next to Antonia and continued talking. "I'm sorry, I thought the man and woman that usually come here with them were their parents."

"They are." Antonia didn't know if he usually saw Antonio and Lovina or Romano and Lovina, because they all brought the kids, but it didn't matter either way.

His brow furrowed and Antonia was about to go back to her far more interesting conversation with Gisella when he continued on again. "Ah, their dad remarried?"

"No," Antonia said simply.

"Girlfriend then?" He laughed and Antonia opened her mouth to answer but he beat her to it. "I'm not interested in their dad, it doesn't matter. I'm more interested in you."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and before she could stand up or tell him to go away or react in any other firm but child friendly way, he was removing the arm himself and using it to rub at his knee.

Antonia blinked and looked over at the source of his pain. Celio was standing there, a scowl fixed firmly on his face. The man rubbed his knee again and laughed nervously. "Protective of your mom, huh? It's okay, we were just talking, kiddo."

Celio raised his foot to kick him again and he held his hands up in a placating manner. "Okay okay, I'm going." He got up, watching Celio warily just in case he decided to actually place that second kick. "Does he get that from his father? I can't imagine somebody as cute as you letting their kids behave like brats," he added to Antonia.

"Mamá's not looking Celio," Antonia replied, turning her attention back to the little girl who was squawking and patting at her cheeks.

She heard another pained curse and the sound of quickly retreating feet and then her afternoon returned to normal.


	29. Diamond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovina is the best damn girlfriendwifewhatever in the world.

"You having a look first before you send the fiancé over for a ring?"

Lovina looks up from the ring cabinet and shakes her head. "No."

The woman behind her counter keeps looking at her expectantly, obviously thinking she was going to continue or explain herself or maybe ask to see something and give the girl a sale, but she's unfortunately out of luck. "Is Edmée here? She knows what I want."

"Oh." The woman looks disappointed, but she quickly recovers. "She's in the back, I'll go get her."

Lovina moves down the row of rings until she gets out of the section with women's rings and into the one for men. She glances back at the women's rings, then to the men's, silently contemplating to herself while she waits for Edmée.

"Hey Lovi!" Edmée comes skipping out from the back room and laughs when she sees what Lovina is doing. "Looking for a ring for Romano?"

"He keeps looking at this particular one," she responds, brushing off some dust from the top of the glass cabinet. "But it's expensive as shit and really girly."

Edmée nods and pulls out one of the many velvet-lined boxes full of rings. "Like these?"

Lovina snorts and points out one of them. "That's the one. Obviously you picked the right job."

"Antonio showed me a picture," Edmée whispers. "But shhh, obviously I'm the best one at this store."

"I'll agree with you on that one if you can get this fucking insane price down for me."

"Well I get an employee discount…"

"Yeah?"

"And I really love free pastries, especially chocolate ones."

"…Right."

"And you know we've been trying to get customers to fill out our surveys but they never do! Some feedback would be nice."

"Positive feedback, I'm assuming?"

Edmée smirks and pulls the ring from the velvet cushion and holds it up to the light. "Well obviously. Negative feedback isn't going to get me a raise."

Lovina looks at the ring and scowls at Edmée, but the woman is very much Antonio's sister and she just smiles back. "It better be a fucking good discount."

"It might be."

"And you are going to tell Romano I paid full price and that bitch so owes me for this."

"I don't think anyone doubts that he does."

"And you guys are getting us a really nice present next time we get fake-married."

Edmée pulls a red ring box from under the counter and after taking a few minutes to polish the ring and hum instead of responding to Lovina, she places the sparkling band into the box and slides it over the counter to Lovina. "We always get you the best presents and you know it."

"Well it best be better than normal."

"I don't know, I only got wedding presents the one time from you guys. Just doesn't seem fair to me. Which credit card will you be using?"

Lovina eyes all the plastic in her purse before selecting one and tossing it in Edmée's direction. "I'll make Antonio get you an anniversary present or something."

"Tell him—"

"That you two have enough chocolate and it's not a very clever gift anymore, I know."

"You're a doll." Lovina eyes the final price on her receipt as she signs it and even though it is significantly lower than the original tag, Romano still so fucking owes her. "Here's a survey card, be sure and let us know how we're doing!"

"Yeah yeah." Lovina slips the ring and the survey card into her purse. "See you on Sunday, it's your turn to host dinner."

"It was my turn last time."

"No it wasn't… fine. You're making dessert."

Another customer enters the jewellery shop just then and since Random Girl from Earlier is nowhere to be seen, Edmée waves Lovina off and she happily obliges.

"I hope he likes it!"

"Oh, he better."

"Bye bye, Lovina."

Romano wakes up the next morning with a sparkling new ring on his finger and when Lovina tells him he's on laundry duty for the next month he only questions it and complains a little.


	30. Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovina kind of hates all the little notes Antonia leaves her.

_Lovina!_

_We're out of milk I'm sorry! If you want some go steal some from the boys and I'll buy more after class._

_Love,  
Antonia_

Lovina blinked tiredly at the sticky note attached to the, sadly, very empty carton of milk. She'd wanted a glass with breakfast but she didn't want it quite enough to walk all the way down the street to Romano and Antonio's dorm, so she grabbed a jug of orange juice instead. This beverage was both full and sticky note free.

Her closet, however, was not.

_Lovi,_

_I borrowed your yellow dress, I hope you don't mind. It just seemed like a good thing to wear today!_

_Love,  
Antonia_

"Fucking hell," she mumbled, reaching for a different dress. "She better not have— she did." Lovina lifted yet another sticky note off an empty shoe box sitting at the bottom of her closet.

_Lovi,_

_I tried going out with my own shoes but none of them went with the dress! You always look so cute wearing these I thought I'd try them too._

_Love,  
Antonia_

Lovina quickly checked to make sure nothing else had been stolen and nearly blew her lid when she found a note attached to her purse, but all crises were averted when she actually saw what was written.

_Lovina,_

_You said you weren't going out with me anymore if I didn't stop forgetting to pay my tabs and making you handle them so I put the money I owed you in your wallet. Just don't tell Romano I stole some from him shhhh, our little secret._

_See you later!_

_Love,  
Antonia_

A few blocks over, Romano found a similar, yet far more infuriating note in his wallet, which was far lighter than he remembered it being the night before.

_Romano,_

_Antonia's money is apparently in her other bra so I charged her tab on your card. She forgot last night too so I'm keeping it just in case she forgets again tomorrow._

_Later,  
Lovina_


	31. Simple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Antonia and Lovino are like 18 and 17 and haven't met Antonio or Lovina yet

After living with Nonno for so many years and having to hear all his sordid, ridiculous tales of love, passion, life, and heartbreak (Nonno's words, not Romano's, Romano preferred to call them drunken, potentially untrue stories from his batshit grandfather), Romano unfortunately had a bit of a crazy view on all things romance and sex related. His mamma always told him not to listen to Nonno, and he didn't, but sometimes no matter how hard he tried, things still managed to slip into his subconscious and come out at awkward times they had no right coming out at.

"So… that's it?" was definitely not what he'd intended to say to Antonia after they'd finished rolling around between the sheets for the first time.

Luckily for him, Antonia had about as many screws loose as he did, so instead of getting offended, she pinched the skin on his waist, kissed his cheek, and sat up to give him a rather lovely view of her uncovered breasts. "Well I wasn't going to bring out anything crazy just yet. You'll have to wait for that, mister."

"I don't mean I wanted you to do crazy shit." Except now he was curious as to what that would entail and… that could wait until later. "I just mean," he glanced at the clock and scowled when he realised barely twenty minutes had passed since Antonia's skirt had first come off. "I liked it." He looked at her breasts again and then tried to look away because those things never helped him when he was trying to explain, unhelpful bastards that they were. "Just."

"Sex isn't fireworks, Roma."

"…Excuse me?"

Antonia laughed and hugged him (more like her breasts hugged him, where had her bra gotten off to anyway?). "I've heard the crazy stories your nonno tells too. Sex isn't all like that. Not even all the sex he has—"

"Had."

"Has," Antonia repeated. "You're seventeen, you have so many years of having sex ahead of you, just enjoy it!"

"Sex with you, I'm hoping."

…Romano had meant for that to sound far less stupid than it did. Romano was going to blame the boobs in his face for ruining his ability for proper pillow talk.

"That can be arranged. Just don't go thinking I even know how to do all the crazy stuff your nonno and nonn—"

"My nonno and crazy, nameless women who were not my nonna."

"Romano don't be—"

"My nonna was a saint, Antonia."

"Well okay."

"A saint."

Antonia laughed again and tickled at Romano's sides, right where she'd discovered he was most ticklish during her times "babysitting" him when he was 12. "Here I am all naked and glorious in your bed and you're talking about your grandmother."

"You started it, bitch," he mumbled when his giggles had finally died down.

"Mm. Want me to start something else?"

The answer was yes, of course. Because even if Romano was a horribly inexperienced seventeen year old boy (and Antonia was being more ridiculous than sexy at the moment), he was a horribly inexperienced seventeen year old boy with a naked girl in his bed, and fireworks or no, he was still having the time of his life.


	32. Future

With two of their brats being fully grown and out of the house and the youngest one being sixteen and perfect and not a horrible little monster, Romano figured the days of being woken up by children in the middle of the night were long gone. He went to bed every night expecting to not wake up until the morning, though in all honesty it never worked out that way because of all the snoring and kicking and sneaking into other people's beds at 3 am all his partners did, but there were no childish nightmares or bed wetting incidents or crying babies waking him up at odd hours.

There were no tiny hands grabbing at him to pull themselves up into his bed or soft whispers of, "Babbo can I sleep with you?" and, "It's too dark in my room," and, "I want to cuddle," either, but none of that was at all endearing when one was sleep deprived anyway.

Neither were quiet knocks on his door.

…Why was somebody knocking on his fucking door at 2:30 in the morning?

He glanced at the three people sleeping soundly beside him and got up to see what Gisella could possibly need at that hour, but when he opened the door, it wasn't her standing on the other side.

"…Alessandro, do you know what time it is?"

Alejandro laughed nervously and mumbled, "Two?"

"Past two. How did you even get in the house? Did Antonio forget to lock the door again, I swear I will fuc—"

"I still have a key."

"Oh. Right."

Romano closed his bedroom door behind him, mostly because he didn't want to deal with the excitement Antonio and Antonia always overdid whenever Alejandro came over for a visit. He nudged his shell-shocked looking son over toward the couch before making his way to the kitchen. If he was going to be up at strange hours, he might as well be eating the cannoli Lovina told him to stay out of. "You going to tell me what's wrong or did you just feel like waking somebody up for nostalgic reasons?"

He didn't respond for a few minutes and Romano was slowly growing worried because Alejandro was definitely a talkative person, always had been. He'd even managed to pick up Antonio's annoying habit of talking in his sleep, so for him to keep quiet was a very odd occurrence.

"Alessà, what's—"

"Elena's pregnant."

"…What time did she tell you this?"

"Last night."

"And you couldn't have called then? Or waited until the morning? …Please tell me no hand puppets were involved."

Alejandro laughed and then quickly covered his mouth when he realised how loud he was being. "No Babbo, no hand puppets. I'm way smarter than you and Papá."

"You watch your tongue, brat." Because Romano was a very giving parent, he handed Alejandro some of the off-limits dessert he'd gotten into and because Alejandro also had a knack for eating things Lovina told him not to, he happily took it. "So what's the problem?"

"No problem."

The clock in their living room struck 3:00. "No problem?"

"I'm gonna be Babbo now. Or Papá, I guess—"

"Oh, right." Alejandro's shell-shocked face was soon matched by Romano's. "That's not allowed."

"And you're going to be—"

"Don't fucking say it."

"—Nonno."

"Goddamnit."

"I know."

The two of them remained silent until the cannoli was long gone and Romano had retrieved a pan tiramisu with a note reading _Romano, I will burn you if you fucking touch this again, fatass. Love, Lovina_ for them to start on. "How old are you? I'm not old enough for this shit. How old am?!"

"You're twenty-nine," Alejandro replied quickly.

"Damn right I am."

"…I don't know anything about babies."

Romano snorted. "Neither do I." They went silent again as Alejandro inhaled the tiramisu and Romano let him because Lovina had only burnt him once before on accident and she'd freaked out about it way more than he had. "You'll be fine, and if you're not I'm sure Antonio and Antonia will be more than happy to take the thing off your hands for awhile."

Alejandro grinned and fiddled with the wedding band on his finger. "Love you, Babbo." He paused for a moment before laughing. "Even if you're only three years older than me."

"It is too early for your sass, young man." Romano ran a finger through the perfectly frosted top of the remaining tiramisu before reclosing the lid with Lovina's note on it. "But I love you too. Now stop freaking me out and go home to your wife."

"Okay, Babbo."

"And if you ever say anything about me being Nonno again I am disowning you."

"Sure you will."

"I will."

"Mhmm."

"…Well maybe just a little."

Alejandro had inherited a great many things from Romano, but his propensity for leaping at people and pulling them into lung-crushing hugs was definitely not one of them. Romano forgave him just this once and wrapped his arms around him, but not before letting him know that he was crushing him and he didn't appreciate murder attempts before the sun was even up.

"If you two are done with your girl talk, I'd like to go back to slee— is that my tiramisu. Romano, I told you not eat it, why do you always do this?"

Romano also didn't appreciate his sleep-deprived moments with his oldest son being ruined, damnit. "Call me in the morning, Alessà."

"Sure thing. Don't kill Babbo, Mamma."

"I am making no promises." Lovina scowled and returned the half-eaten tiramisu to the fridge while Romano walked Alejandro to the door. Once she heard the click of the lock she made her way out to the living room. "What the hell was that all about?"

"Oh, you know." Romano fell into step with Lovina as she returned to her bedroom. "Not much, just you're going to be a grandma."

"Oh, well— what?!"


	33. Night Time Rituals

Lovina had just gone to bed, tossing a sleepy, "Stop fucking snoring," at Antonia before climbing under the covers, when the distinct sound of the door to their dorm being unlocked drew her out of her attempts to sleep.

"Which one of you is that," she mumbled, pulling her blankets up over her head. She'd long since become used to the fact that Romano and Antonio just let themselves into hers and Antonia's room, so as long as one of them answered (and then shut the hell up so she could sleep), she wasn't overly concerned.

She was answered by a body falling into bed next with her and wriggling underneath the covers, despite her attempts to pull them tighter against herself. She finally gave up when she almost fell off the bed in the struggle and the scent of cologne mixed with spicy red wine let her know who the accursed bed stealer was.

"Romano." A groan was her only response. "Go sleep with your girlfriend."

"I am," he slurred.

"Your other one," she countered, shoving at his shoulder. "You'll hog all the covers." She actually had no idea if he would hog all the covers, but her point still stood.

As if reading her mind, Romano muttered, "You don't know that." He shifted against her in the small bed and lazily wrapped an arm around her waist.

"How drunk are you anyway?"

"Antonio went to visit his mom and took both fucking sets of keys." She had to pay close attention to understand what Romano was saying because he was talking into her pillow, but after a moment to process the reply she rolled her eyes.

"That doesn't answer my question. And you're an idiot for letting him leave without making sure he wasn't locking you out."

"Your face is an idiot."

"Your face is an- ugh." Lovina shoved him further to the edge of the bed in an attempt to take back some of the room she'd lost, but Romano still had a grip on her and she just ended up moving with him. "This is my bed. You're the stupid one."

"Antonio's the stupid one."

"That's a given. You're the other stupid one."

Neither of them noticed their background noise had ceased until Antonia yawned and said, "Roma, Lovina, I'm so glad you two are having a cuddle, but I'm trying to sleep."

"We are not."

"Sleep."

"He stole my bed."

" _Sleep_."

Lovina grumbled and was about to complain to Romano about Antonia's stupid face, but she found he'd been quick to follow orders and was already snoozing beside her. "Fucking hell," she said instead.

"He falls asleep fast," Antonia said. "Night night Lovi."

"I can see that." After a few final shifting movements, Lovina decided that she was as comfortable as she was going to get in the tiny bed and let out a soft, "Night, Antonia," before she too fell asleep.


	34. P is for Prosthelytizing

Warm summer air slips in through Antonia's window, causing the red curtains her mother put up so many years ago to flutter with the rise and fall of the breeze. She watches the shadows they make, translucent little shapes ghosting over the carpet. Mariana is living elsewhere now and won't have time off work for a visit for another few weeks, their mother is sound asleep down the hall, Romano is out with his family, and Antonio and Lovina have also gone home for the holidays.

The night is deathly silent in the little room Antonia grew up in.

Which only makes the deafening thump of a body falling through her window echo that much louder through the house.

"Romano!" she exclaims, jumping up from her bed to come to his aid. "You know you can just come in through the front door, are you alright, should I—"

His words are slurred, made worse by the fact that he's mumbling them into worn-out shag carpet, but Antonia understands it just fine when he says, "I miss them," in the most despondent voice he can manage.

She pats his shoulder and attempts to manhandle him into a sitting position. "You're drunk. But I miss Antonio and Lovina too."

Romano smacks her hands away and after a few failed attempts gets himself upright. "Not them, stupid." He leans against her chest and sighs dramatically.

Antonia runs a hand through his uncharacteristically messy hair and doesn't even blink when Romano's Nonno walks into her room as if he owns the place.

"So I hear this Lovina girl has a great set of knockers?" serves as his greeting and Antonia's hand pauses in its movements.

"You miss Lovina's breasts?"

"They," Romano starts, sounding highly offended. "Are not knockers, Nonno." Antonia seriously wonders what Nonno slipped into his drink when he continues, "And you are not allowed to look at them. You aren't a true believer."

"I don't know, the way you were praying at the bar. Very inspirational. I might just have to turn my back on God now."

"No no," Antonia interjects. "They get you closer to God."

"Damn right they do." Romano is scowling at Nonno and Antonia goes back to petting him.

"It's okay Roma. Some people just don't understand."

"I think the whole bar would have understood if I hadn't brought him home when I did." Nonno sighs, a nostalgic tone to his voice as wipes a finger under his eye. "So sweet, you kids and your love. Brings a tear to Nonno's eye."

"Your dirty sinner eye that is not allowed to look at them Nonno. Not. Allowed."

"Okay, okay." He holds his hands up in a placating manner. "You going to stay here with Antonia, then?"

"I am going to stay where there are no blasphemers."

"I'll take that as a yes."

"I've got it covered," Antonia says, giving Nonno a mock-salute. "I know all about the proper ways to worship Lovina's tits, no blaspheming here."

"Antonia you're not allowed to tell him."

"I'm not going to Romano. You should move your head, you are drooling on my shirt."

"I'll move when I'm damn good and ready." Most likely as nothing more than an act of drunken defiance, Romano buries his head further into Antonia's chest.

"Goodnight, you crazy kids."

"Night Nonno," Antonia says at the same time as Romano mutters, "Fuck off old man."

As soon as Nonno is gone Antonia starts the (surprisingly long, for people who are not Antonia) process of dragging Romano to her bed. "So are we out prosthelytizing about Lovina's tits now?"

"All the bitches were jealous, Antonia."

"Mm, as they should be. Should we call Lovina tomorrow and see if she'll let us talk to them?" Antonia is glad a phone was nowhere near either of them, because Romano, in his drunken haze, took to the idea far more than she thought he would.

"I can't wait to tell them about this tomorrow," she says once she's got Romano all snuggled up under her covers. "Antonio and Lovina. Not Lovina's tits."

She takes Romano's snores as sounds of agreement.


	35. Baby's First Christmas

"Is he awake yet?"

It was 9:00 am on Christmas morning. The lights on the tree were shining bright, the presents were... not so neatly wrapped (depending on who had done them), but adequate, and everyone was up and sitting on the couch in the living room.

Well, everyone but Alejandro.

"He's so sleepy, maybe we should wait until later?" Antonia bounced Alejandro lightly in her arms, but all he did was sigh softly and snuggle into her chest, still fast asleep.

"I don't see why we have to wait," Romano said. "He's three months old. Don't think he gives a shit."

"It's his first Christmas, Romano!" Antonio looked downright offended at what Romano had said and Romano just rolled his eyes.

"I know that. It'll still be his first Christmas if we start opening things and open his for him when he wakes up."

"You don't open other people's presents for them, Roma."

"I don't think he can open them himself," Lovina cut in. "But I'm not waking him up just because you're an impatient jerk."

"Can we at least eat breakfast? I'm starving. Just sitting here is stupid."

"I guess that would make sense," Antonia said, as if she hadn't even considered that before. "I'll go make some eg— oh hey, good morning Alejandro!"

Romano, who had just been standing up from the couch, immediately sighed and sat back down. "Worst timing ever, Alessà."

Alejandro just yawned and looked over at Romano. "Well it is."

"I don't think he was arguing." Lovina dropped something heavy in his lap and Romano cursed under his breath when it grazed a little too close to his crotch.

"Watch it, damni...t." He shrugged when Lovina raised an eyebrow at him. "I have no idea what you want me to change that to. It's not like the kid can talk yet."

"Well knock it off before he does."

"Easier said than done," Antonia and Romano said in sync. Antonia laughed and cried out, "Hey, we're twins!" Romano ignored it.

"Just open your present." Lovina tossed another one at him, this time avoiding any vital organs. "And that one."

Antonio looked over at the present. "That one's for Alejandro, though?"

"He can't open them by himself, Antonio." This time Lovina joined in with Antonia and Romano.

Romano ripped the paper off Alejandro's present, quickly revealing a bright green rattle. "Here you go squirt. Merry Christmas." He reached over to pass the rattle to Alejandro, but he seemed far more interested in grabbing Romano's hand instead.

"That is not your present." Romano didn't even try to move his hand when Alejandro started chewing on it, though he did grimace when a glob of droll dripped down his fingers.

"At least he didn't try to eat the paper?" Antonia laughed and took the rattle from Romano. She tried to shake it over Alejandro and get his attention, but he showed no interest.

Lovina dropped the remainder of Alejandro's (many, far too many) gifts onto the floor in front of them. "Should have just wrapped your hands up. Would have been so much cheaper."

"Ooooh, we could still—"

"Not happening, Antonio." Romano tried to take his hand back, but Alejandro's grip was surprisingly strong. "Oh fine. But you're giving that back when it's time to eat breakfast."

Again, Alejandro just looked at him, but Romano was pretty sure they had come to some sort of agreement.


	36. Resemblance

When Alejandro's eyes finally darken and change colour from newborn blue to a dark green-brown hazel, everyone comments on how very much like Lovina he looks. "What a sweet baby," a customer at the café says (as he holds up the line to coo at Alejandro even though Lovina is pretty damn sure she never gave him permission to do so). "His eyes are just like yours too! Same shape and everything."

"I did notice this, yes."

"Lucky boy. Your eyes are very pretty."

"I noticed that too." Lovina flashes her hand, which is sporting a ring that is just something she stole off Antonia and not a wedding ring at all (but the man doesn't know that) and holds out his change. "Have a nice day or something."

—-

The first time Antonia takes Alejandro to work with her, amidst all the oohs and ahhs of her friends and fellow nurses, one of the new doctors takes a look at the unruly mop of curly hair and says, "Does his father have curly hair as well?"

"Of course his father has curly hair." A few of the nurses snicker; one rolls her eyes. The doctor doesn't understand why though. "That makes sense." She nods. "Obviously he could have gotten it from you, but your hair isn't quite as curly as his."

"I'm sure we'll figure out something to do with it." Antonia cards her fingers through the, yes, very curly hair atop Alejandro's head. All that does is mess it up even more.

"That father of his always gets hers to behave, somehow." More snickering.

The doctor gives them all an odd look, but she doesn't ask.

—-

For Show and Tell one day, Antonio thinks it is a great idea to bring Alejandro in. His class always asks why he doesn't do Show and Tell with the rest of them, the other teachers have been asking to see his new baby, and besides that he's the only one who hasn't brought him to work yet and that just isn't fair at all.

"This is Alejandro." Antonio holds him up proudly and he can tell by the looks on their faces that his class is quite impressed. He thinks he should bring Alejandro in more often, because somehow it is surprisingly difficult to impress some of the three-year-olds he teaches. "He's five months old and this is first time coming to school, so everyone say hi."

A chorus of, "Hi Alejandro," fills the room just as his assistant, Luisa, enters the classroom.

"Sorry I'm late." She sounds a little out of breath, like she rushed right over, so Antonio waves her off.

"It's okay! I'm just starting Show and Tell."

"Oh! So this is your baby?" She waves and smiles when Alejandro curls his hand into a little wave back. "He's so cute, he looks just you!"

"Mr. Toni don't look like a baby," one of the girls says.

"Babies are weird," a boy in the back adds.

"So's Mr. Toni."

Luisa snickers but Antonio doesn't notice. He's too busy looking Alejandro over.

"I guess he does look a little like me. He gets all his cute from Lovina and Romano, though."

—-

"He's got your nonna's nose." Romano looks over at Nonno and raises an eyebrow.

"He has Lovina's nose. Poor kid."

"She has a nice nose," Nonno argues. "I guess hers is a bit like your nonna's too."

"Would you stop that. Lovina is nothing like Nonna." Romano gives his ass of a grandfather the dirtiest look he can manage, which is pretty damn dirty if he does says so himself.

"Nonna is a saint."

"She really was." Nonna gets That Look that says whatever he is currently reminiscing about is definitely not anything Romano ever wants to know about his dear, sweet grandmother, god rest her motherfucking saintly soul and all that. "His eyes, though—"

"Lovina's."

"And his hands—"

"Are stubby little things that none of us have because we are adults."

"Ah, really? When did that happen?"

"Oh shut it, Nonno."

Alejandro, who has been sitting oh so nicely in Nonno's lap despite all the poking and prodding and random discussion of various body parts that may or may not resemble this person and that person, drops the doll he was holding and whines loudly. "Babbo." He sniffles and points down at the floor. "Fuck."

Romano blinks, looks around to make sure certain people (Lovina) are not secretly lurking around the corner waiting to blame him for things that are not his fault (because they are Lovina's), and finally just picks up the doll and hands it back to Alejandro.

"That's all you, Roma." Nonno sounds far too fond of this fact. "Definitely all you."

"Fuck you. That's Lovina too."


End file.
